I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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