I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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