can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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