Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
