Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
