There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Michael Bay diarrhea
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
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I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
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While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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