so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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