I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
