wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
