brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
