Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
