you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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