Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
