is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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