Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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