she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
