Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize