Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
