I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
