Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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