I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
