OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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