What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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