Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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