Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
