I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
