my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Jerry, you need to find god
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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