We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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