Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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