So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it because I queefed?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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