Where is the hickey?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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