it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
