Just mADE A PArabola og urine
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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