It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
