No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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