I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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