they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
