Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have

(1-313): View more from Michigan

None he's f-d

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(440): View more from Ohio

you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

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(540): View more from Virginia

Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

It was a blind-side dick pic.

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(325): View more from Texas

He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.

(806): View more from Texas

okay valid

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