My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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