So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
