Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
