im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
