YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
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STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
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Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.