Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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