I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today