Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless. http://tfl.nu/tw3i

Replies (142) Good night (2646) Bad night (2361)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar http://tfl.nu/ulgt

Replies (27) Good night (2975) Bad night (575)
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways. http://tfl.nu/3d1m

Replies (42) Good night (977) Bad night (2794)
Favorite
(623): View more from Arizona

she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(623): she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five. http://tfl.nu/kcej

Replies (22) Good night (4615) Bad night (1219)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate http://tfl.nu/wroe

Replies (24) Good night (987) Bad night (5173)
Favorite
(660): View more from Missouri

I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(660): I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point http://tfl.nu/7cy0

Replies (30) Good night (1042) Bad night (4554)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package.. http://tfl.nu/0izj

Replies (37) Good night (7076) Bad night (841)
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I? http://tfl.nu/r6dy

Replies (19) Good night (2116) Bad night (3745)
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression. http://tfl.nu/ii3j

Replies (7) Good night (1519) Bad night (709)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up... (978): Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis? http://tfl.nu/mb06

Replies (12) Good night (1872) Bad night (3774)
Favorite
(856): View more from New Jersey

I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(856): I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help. http://tfl.nu/4hfj

Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (1527)
Favorite
(240): View more from Maryland

This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(240): This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn. http://tfl.nu/cv1s

Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (715)
Favorite
(252): View more from North Carolina

Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(252): Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison " http://tfl.nu/v70i

Replies (5) Good night (593) Bad night (1057)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet. http://tfl.nu/3amu

Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (730)
Favorite
(661): View more from California

Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(661): Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract. http://tfl.nu/nfjs

Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (139)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard