actually, I'm a sock model
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
cat food counts as protein by the way
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
