I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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