Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
