shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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