can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I deserve this hangover.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
