Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
