i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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