just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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