The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
