The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How external is "for external use only"?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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