after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
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The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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