no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
