I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
