Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
