Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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