know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
