So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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