just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
