in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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