chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize