i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
