I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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