Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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