I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
