ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
