That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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