Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize