he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
