This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
