i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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